Enter "Epopoeic Saturday"! It's more epic than the epicness itself!
And the virgin song is: "Silhouette Paintings" by American hard rock band Kingdom Come. It's so epopoeic it doesn't even come with a video. They couldn't record one that was worth the epopoeicness of this song. It would've been sheer epopoeiclessness.
"Weekends are a bit like rainbows; they look good from a distance but disappear when you get up close to them." - John Shirley