Friday, December 31, 2010


2009 is the year when Mr. God and his lackeys murdered Michael Jackson, the ultimatest royalty of pop. They've popped the king of pop. Plus everywhere panicked about the swine flu. Damn those dirty, sick animals. Pigs too.
Album-of-the-year award goes to: War Is The Answer by Five Finger Death Punch, a heavy metal band from California, USA. Pure unadulterated mindless aggression. Nitro testosterone awesomeness.

I'm sorry for the demon I've become
You should be sorry for the angel you are not

A well-deserved second place goes to Tidal Eyes by Queen Killing Kings. Retards classify them as indie rock. Fools. Anyway, its awesomeness lies in the fact that it's rock music without the electric guitar! Genius! Third place goes to Ellipse by Imogen Heap. She grows musically with every album and we like her for that.

I fucking double-dare you to walk in my shoes.

Remember: Not. Like. You. Just NOT.

That's it, decade over. Now we have a reminder what kind of music was cool to us back then-now. I could've written tomes of essays on this. But why? We're not planning going deaf any time soon. And this will also serve as a reminder that we used words like awesome and cool way too much. Well, no way to go but up, right? Rape on!

Thursday, December 30, 2010


2008 was the last year of my childhood. Even if it weren't I hereby dub it so. The war began then. And I still didn't know how to shoot blanks. Don't worry, my future self, it doesn't have to make any sense. Every fight is worth ending it.
The album-of-the-year award goes to: Swan Songs by Hollywood Undead, a rap rock band from California, USA. Refreshingly direct and fun lyrics. See, I can be fun too!
Wake up
Grab beer
Grab rear
Shave beard
Put on some scene gear
Gotta get drunk before my mom wakes up
Break-up with my girlfriend so I can bang sluts

In reality, the awesomest album of the year was The End Begins by Tantric. But I'm not admitting I'm emo just yet! Also, Phoenix by Zebrahead had a lot of great songs.

How dickless cunt faggoty bitchy bullshit censorshit fuckheads can massacre a song.

Shake that ass. Fuck, fuck fuck!!!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010


In 2007 IPCC says global warming is very likely caused by human activity, blah, blah. Everything is wrong with that sentence. They've been throwing the global warming feces at our faces for two decades now and yet the winters get colder every year. Warming. Right. Also, the "very likely" part is awesome. The international panel that spends kazillions of money every fucking year on something that might as well be truth. Or not. Whatever. Just stop farting. Gases are bad.
Musically, at this moment, it could be the year of one-album-wonders. All three bands did an awesome album and then, in the next three years - nothing. We'll see what the future brings. If those gases don't kill us. Gasp!
Album-of-the-year award goes to: The Eyes Of Tomorrow by Broken Iris, alt rock band from California, USA. No wiki page, no homepage, forgotten FB profile, not a single music video. And they split up after one album. But what an album!

So, why do you take this, conquer and dismay this
Peaceful sanity of mine?
Your attempting to bore me, shatter and destroy me
Is worthless and fuels my gain
Maybe we're all insane

Honorable and superworthy mentions are: The Heroin Diaries Soundtrack by Sixx AM, the best concept album of the decade, and Air by Agua de Annique, a soothing solo project by the former The Gathering vocalist, Anneke van Giersbergen.

Some things are final. Hope isn't.

Remember: machines always win in the end.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010


What was the pandemic for 2006? Bird flu. It seems that the Ohs are just a series of new ways to exterminate the human race. Dang. Also, I was made available on the relationship market. Girls rejoice! Well, that went swell. We called it an epic fail back then. Also, it was musically the worst year of the decade. Wow, when it rains… it rapes. Album-of-the-year award goes to: Little Notes by Kwan. What?! Kwan won the award two years back?! WTF is this? The Oscars? It's rigged! You've got a crush on the singer, don't you, my past self? Well, no, my future self, as I said, the year sucked and this still is an awesome album. Honorable mentions are One X by Three Days Grace… okay, okay, that can be the album of the year, sheesh… The third place then goes to IV by Godsmack. Kickassy hard rock. Also, their only worthwhile album to date.

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all


Hang in there. Pussy.


Ironic year. God killed the good Pope and installed the evil one to be his PR (that stood for public relations in Ohs, now it probably means painfully retarded). Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans, the so-called cradle of jazz, and inspired "artists" around the World to create painfully craptacular music, as it is always the case when disaster strikes. Gotta sell them albumz. Remember the unholy union between U2 and Green Day?! Eeek! Luckily, three awesome albums saved that musically raped year.
Album-of-the-year award goes to: Signs of Life by Poets Of The Fall, alt rock band from Helsinki, Finland. This is the most replayable album of the decade.

The devil grins from ear to ear when he sees the hand he's dealt us
Points at your flaming hair, and then we're playing hide and seek
I can't breathe easy here, less our trail's gone cold behind us
Till in the john mirror you stare at yourself grown old and weak

Next we have The Dark Third by Pure Reason Revolution and finally The Art Of Navigating By The Stars by Sieges Even. Both progressive masterpieces.

Moths in my head.

Sometimes the only right thing to do is to drive away.

Friday, December 24, 2010


Enough with destruction of the human race. Let's remember a year by something awesome. In 2004 Google released its beta version of Gmail and changed emailing world forever. Go team Google. Keep the spam coming. :)

This is a difficult choice. Three awesome albums. Funnily, all of them in the pop part of the genre world. But I guess the album-of-the-year award goes to: Love Beyond This World by Kwan, a pop/hip hop/rock band from Finland. Maybe I change my mind tomorrow, but this will still be an incredible piece of music.

Talking too loud can deaf you to silence
And where will I find peace of mind or the answers

Then, Anastacia by Anastacia. This is her only album that doesn't suck ass. In fact - it pwns! Pop/rock/soul mix at its finest. Don’t' hope for deep lyrics though. ;)

And finally, Futures by Jimmy Eat World. Alt rock/pop album that is mesmerizing in its melancholy driven feel-good mood. One of a kind. If I change my mind, this is going to be the album of this year. Silver medal for now.

Sharks. They bite.

Under no conditions is my condition unconditional. Wow, that was made of fail.

Thursday, December 23, 2010


In 2003, we were introduced to SARS. Yes, another possible pandemicy crap modern world has bestowed upon us. Well, what doesn't kill us - exterminates us completely? Nice. Go team virus. Will the shit ever end. Well, human race is too stubborn to just shrivel up and die. Fuck you, uhm, everything. Go team inde-fucking-structible human!

Album-of-the-year award goes to: War All The Time by Thursday, a post-hardcore/screamo band from New Jersey, USA. This is probably the best album of the decade.

These ties strangle our necks, hanging in the closet,
found in the cubicle;
without a name, just numbers, on the resume stored in the mainframe, marked for delete.

Honorable mentions are:
Blessing In Disguise by Green Carnation - progressive rock/metal at its finest.
Spirit Of The Forest by Korpiklaani - folk metal designed to drink hard liquor and smash things up.

War. War fucking never changes.

Don't try to communicate. You're bound to fail.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Two to get ready

What should I remember about 2002? Try this for a size:
U.S. scientists at the State University of New York at Stony Brook have created the first synthetic virus. Using directions downloaded from the Internet and chemicals obtained from a mail-order company, they built an apparently identical copy of the poliovirus. When injected into lab mice, the synthetic virus caused paralysis and then death.
The new era begins! I can order via Internet everything needed for biological warfare. Oh, and on the Internet, this is good, there are instructions how to do that. All hail Internet. Album-of-the-year award goes to: About This by Baxter, a Swedish electronica band.

It's taking me time to believe in this
I'm trying so hard to continue this
I'm giving it time so that I can see
But I'm better off here on my own right now

Honorable mentions are:
Songs For The Deaf by Queens Of The Stone Age - the ONLY stoner rock album ever that doesn't suck.
The Neonai by Lake Of Tears - great music happens when doom metal band evolves.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Two uh-oh one!

What I remember about 2001? Anthrax scare. Killing people with letters? Sigh. Every writer's dream. It was the last opportunity for that though. No sane person sends/receives letters nowadays. Just emails. No anthrax there. Music was okay. Not great, but okay. Album-of-the-year award goes to:
Proud Like A God by Guano Apes,
an alt/nu metal band from Göttingen, Germany.
Fuck it, that's as alternative as it goes. Indie scene was still just a bunch of tone-deaf retards. Plus, guano means feces and urine. Go team excrement monkeys!

Open your eyes, open your mind
proud like a god don't pretend to be blind
trapped in yourself, break out instead
beat the machine that works in your head

Honorable (even more mainstreamish) mentions are:
Beyond Good And Evil by The Cult - their ONLY album that wasn't just one or two hits with ten fillers. Very awesome album. The best The Cult album, though no one will ever admit it.
Red Album by Days Of The New - maybe the awesomest acoustic/grunge rock ever. And all that by a guy with autism.
Toxicity by System Of A Down - not sellouts back then yet. One of the best albums of the Ohs designed for doing something in the asskicking spectrum. Like kicking ass.

We have shit falling from the sky. First, snow:

And then rain...

Monday, December 20, 2010

Top ten albums of the Ohs for my future self

Eighties and Nineties are ancient history. And now that the 00's AKA the Ohs are over, let's see what they brought music-wise. I'll just write down the best albums by years, so one day, I'll have a cool insight in what I thought cool music was back then, which is actually right now. Duh. And hopefully, my future self will cease utilizing the word cool. I'll avoid mainstream craptacular music. Future must not know about Beyonce and alike. If you burry the shit deep enough, eventually it's bound to turn to oil. Someday I hope I'll understand what I meant by that. Let's begin.

Year 2000. We'll remember it by the mad-cow-disease scare. Moooo-bwahahaha-mooo-mothafucka-moooo! Also, Mr. God killed Mr. Schulz. No more Snoopy. Luckily, we still have cows. Go team Moo.

Music production was pretty awful. The best-album-of-the-year award goes to:
Music For People by VAST,
an alternative rock band/project from Texas, USA. This is the album you'll be listening to in your vault to forget the Apocalypse/Armageddon/women completely taking over the World. Or play it to a screaming baby. This is the avatar of soothing. Except it's not an avatar. Because it's not blue. If you get this joke - go eat some radioactive snails immediately! Anyway, this is how U2 would sound if they grew huevos.

You left me high and dry - it changed me
You lied to me, now I am angry
And if the sun comes in your room
And awakes you from your vanity
You won't find me cause I'll be
On top of a mountain pissing on your grave

Honorable (mainstreamish) mentions are: Brave New World by Iron Maiden and The Screen Behind The Mirror by Enigma.

First, sounding fantastic live:

Then, something Ohs brought us - AMVs - anime music videos. What can you do?