Sunday, June 13, 2010

I'll be drunk on your funeral. Don't you worry.

OK, good shit happens and great shit happens. And somewhere between, really fucked-up shit happens. Well, what doesn't kill me only makes me emotionally and physically handicapped. Pass the wheelchair, pass the tissues, pass out. Or just pass. Well, if you don't... that's extra cool. This being the last Hangovery Randomness Sunday ever, it's time to say bye-bye and also thanks. With the help of a song called, waaaaait for it--- "Thank you" by the American heavy metal band Hellyeah. The battle of Armageddon is over. The universe failed. Glad I helped.

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." - Theodor Seuss Geisel

Threesome. I wish. And so do you. Well, bring a friend then.

Four days in one? But how is that possible, master? I will now show you puny insect, while you lick my, yes, that's how I'll call them. My big, leather shoes. It wouldn't have been an armageddonic week if something hadn't gone completely wrong. Like three days completely vanishing. Well, I'mma get them back. Now. Worship me.

ET: the song is "Where It Ends" by the American Electronica band Boy In Static. They'll almost as bad as The Stone Roses. Somehow this song rocks in its evident suckage. It soothes this savage beast.

"The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept." - George Carlin

LHF: the song is "Walls Of Jericho" by the American progressive/alternative metal band Fair To Midland. They are AAAAAwesome. Listen. Appease the monster under the acrylic skies. Live like today will live five minutes.

"I intend to live forever. So far, so good." - Steven Wright

ES: the song is "Bullitts Dominae" by the British progressive rock band Pure Reason Revolution, from their first studio album The Dark Third. Which rhawks! While their second album sux0rz!

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die." - Mel Brooks

See how it's done? Now I will go write the Sunday blogaliciousness. Be bad. Be very bad.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010


Ice cream; therefore I lick. So, this week's theme is what? To cite one of the more prominent poets of our time - Marilyn Manson - arma-goddamn-motherfucking-geddon! The final chapter of awesomeness. The awesome chapter of finalness. Like Luke (if they had names in biblical time, he would have been called Jeebusstalker) said "I have married a wife, and therefore I can not come." Go sit in a clover field and think about that! Also, "therefore" being the word of the day, we should invent a symbol for it. Wait! Math nerds already did? It's "∴". Aaaaw-some!
In that armageddonical spirit, the song for this Screaming Bitch Wednesday is "Beautiful Tragedy" by the American metalcore band In This Moment. Yeah, go make evil now.

"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps." - Emo Philips

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Pass The Tissues Tuesday #4

OMG! Meaning: Oh My Goth! Only in Finland can we find blond emos. Sweet frozen tears of Valhalla! I thought sub-zero temperatures prevent people from being gay?! Obviously not. Anyway, the song is "Fairytale Gone Bad" from these fine Finnish gentlemen, whose pop rock band is named Sunrise Avenue. What? You're not from Japan! Sun rises in Japan. Everyone knows that. That's why Pikachu is yellow. Because the Sun is yellow. It's true! Bing it!

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally." - W. C. Fields

Monday, June 7, 2010

Trumpet Phail

Monday morning, I'm still snoring, from all the whoring, from all the conforming.
It's never boring, to disregard the warnings, just for the sake of ignoring, the goddamn Monday morning.

There, there's no worse way to start the week than with rhyming. Because Monday rhymes with Sunday. And it fucking isn't Sunday. Crap. Crap. Crappola. Crappoly? Meh.

N-E-Wayz, Trumpet crapday has it's song. Wheeee! It's "So Sad To Say" by the American ska band The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. Are they mighty or what. Couldn't tell from the band's name. So yeah, I wanted to go nerdville with them. Google returns 57,400 results for The Mighty Mighty Bosstones and 57,600 for The Mighty Bosstones. What. The. Fuck?!
"I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you." - Robin Williams

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Sunday Morning Comin' Threesome

Thank you, me, it's Hangovery Randomness Sunday once again. Three songs today. Sheer awesomeness.

"If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad." - Lord Byron

Tantric - The One

Apocalyptica - I'm Not Jesus (Feat. Corey Taylor)

Paradise Lost - I Am Nothing

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Bad medicine

Epopoeic Saturday's song is "The Last One Alive" by the American alternative-rock band VAST. Best. Lyrics. Ever. Well, close. :) "You won't find me, 'cause I'll be atop a mountain, pissing on your grave. Na, na, na..." Now, a bit of trivia and quasi-science: Shivambu (literally "Water of Shiva") is an ancient Indian practice/method of drinking urine for rejuvenation. So, if you are to have any chance of resurrecting someone, your best shot is to piss on their grave, even better, in the open casket - his family will surely be pleased. All hail urine zombies!

"Being an author is like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum." - Graycie Harmon

Friday, June 4, 2010

My schlong is long 'cause I put songs on my blog

Long Hair Friday's song is "Little Deaths" by Finnish goth-metal band To/Die/For. Don't I just hate those overpretentious symbol-soiled names? Why, yes I do, thank you for asking. You are listening to Therapy? That wasn't a question. Artist formally known as Prick? Panic! At the Disco! What? Two sentences in one name? Gaytarded. Sunn O))). Oh, dear Satan of Sodoma... So, whadya think of the new album by sun-en-oh-closedbracket-closedbracket-closedbracket? Phail. But wait. Her comes the king. !!!. Yes, those idiots named themselves three-exclamation-marks, pronounced like clicking (the way the Bushmen talk), inspired by the movie The Gods Must Be Crazy. Don't believe me? Google it! Oh, right - you fucking can't!

"You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you." - Ray Bradbury

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Failure to communicate by saying everything

No crap today. Just facts. Just music.

Day: Electrocuted Thursday
Song: I'm Not the One
Artist: I Will Never Be The Same
Genre: synth-rock
Quote: "I try to leave out the parts that people skip." - Elmore Leonard

Wednesday, June 2, 2010


They have been silent for a week. Now, they can scream. After all, it is Screaming Bitch Wednesday. The song is "What You Do To Me" by the American heavy metal band Straight Line Stitch. Which incidentally rhymes with bitch. Now, usually, they are pretty awful, but they accidentally managed to create this awesome song.

"What no wife of a writer can ever understand is that a writer is working when he's staring out of the window." - Burton Rascoe

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Just Pass It To Jordan

Prepare your lacrimal glands - because here comes... Pass The Tissues Tuesday! Emos around the world rejoice... ehm, I mean write a poem with a mix of black ink from your collapsing veins and your even blacker supra-goth tears. There we go!
The song is "Not The One" by the American pop-rock band South Jordan. Now, if there weren't a piano in this one, I'd have to classify it as gay. Oh, wait... nevermind.

"Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia." - E.L. Doctorow