Friday, December 31, 2010


2009 is the year when Mr. God and his lackeys murdered Michael Jackson, the ultimatest royalty of pop. They've popped the king of pop. Plus everywhere panicked about the swine flu. Damn those dirty, sick animals. Pigs too.
Album-of-the-year award goes to: War Is The Answer by Five Finger Death Punch, a heavy metal band from California, USA. Pure unadulterated mindless aggression. Nitro testosterone awesomeness.

I'm sorry for the demon I've become
You should be sorry for the angel you are not

A well-deserved second place goes to Tidal Eyes by Queen Killing Kings. Retards classify them as indie rock. Fools. Anyway, its awesomeness lies in the fact that it's rock music without the electric guitar! Genius! Third place goes to Ellipse by Imogen Heap. She grows musically with every album and we like her for that.

I fucking double-dare you to walk in my shoes.

Remember: Not. Like. You. Just NOT.

That's it, decade over. Now we have a reminder what kind of music was cool to us back then-now. I could've written tomes of essays on this. But why? We're not planning going deaf any time soon. And this will also serve as a reminder that we used words like awesome and cool way too much. Well, no way to go but up, right? Rape on!

Thursday, December 30, 2010


2008 was the last year of my childhood. Even if it weren't I hereby dub it so. The war began then. And I still didn't know how to shoot blanks. Don't worry, my future self, it doesn't have to make any sense. Every fight is worth ending it.
The album-of-the-year award goes to: Swan Songs by Hollywood Undead, a rap rock band from California, USA. Refreshingly direct and fun lyrics. See, I can be fun too!
Wake up
Grab beer
Grab rear
Shave beard
Put on some scene gear
Gotta get drunk before my mom wakes up
Break-up with my girlfriend so I can bang sluts

In reality, the awesomest album of the year was The End Begins by Tantric. But I'm not admitting I'm emo just yet! Also, Phoenix by Zebrahead had a lot of great songs.

How dickless cunt faggoty bitchy bullshit censorshit fuckheads can massacre a song.

Shake that ass. Fuck, fuck fuck!!!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010


In 2007 IPCC says global warming is very likely caused by human activity, blah, blah. Everything is wrong with that sentence. They've been throwing the global warming feces at our faces for two decades now and yet the winters get colder every year. Warming. Right. Also, the "very likely" part is awesome. The international panel that spends kazillions of money every fucking year on something that might as well be truth. Or not. Whatever. Just stop farting. Gases are bad.
Musically, at this moment, it could be the year of one-album-wonders. All three bands did an awesome album and then, in the next three years - nothing. We'll see what the future brings. If those gases don't kill us. Gasp!
Album-of-the-year award goes to: The Eyes Of Tomorrow by Broken Iris, alt rock band from California, USA. No wiki page, no homepage, forgotten FB profile, not a single music video. And they split up after one album. But what an album!

So, why do you take this, conquer and dismay this
Peaceful sanity of mine?
Your attempting to bore me, shatter and destroy me
Is worthless and fuels my gain
Maybe we're all insane

Honorable and superworthy mentions are: The Heroin Diaries Soundtrack by Sixx AM, the best concept album of the decade, and Air by Agua de Annique, a soothing solo project by the former The Gathering vocalist, Anneke van Giersbergen.

Some things are final. Hope isn't.

Remember: machines always win in the end.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010


What was the pandemic for 2006? Bird flu. It seems that the Ohs are just a series of new ways to exterminate the human race. Dang. Also, I was made available on the relationship market. Girls rejoice! Well, that went swell. We called it an epic fail back then. Also, it was musically the worst year of the decade. Wow, when it rains… it rapes. Album-of-the-year award goes to: Little Notes by Kwan. What?! Kwan won the award two years back?! WTF is this? The Oscars? It's rigged! You've got a crush on the singer, don't you, my past self? Well, no, my future self, as I said, the year sucked and this still is an awesome album. Honorable mentions are One X by Three Days Grace… okay, okay, that can be the album of the year, sheesh… The third place then goes to IV by Godsmack. Kickassy hard rock. Also, their only worthwhile album to date.

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all


Hang in there. Pussy.


Ironic year. God killed the good Pope and installed the evil one to be his PR (that stood for public relations in Ohs, now it probably means painfully retarded). Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans, the so-called cradle of jazz, and inspired "artists" around the World to create painfully craptacular music, as it is always the case when disaster strikes. Gotta sell them albumz. Remember the unholy union between U2 and Green Day?! Eeek! Luckily, three awesome albums saved that musically raped year.
Album-of-the-year award goes to: Signs of Life by Poets Of The Fall, alt rock band from Helsinki, Finland. This is the most replayable album of the decade.

The devil grins from ear to ear when he sees the hand he's dealt us
Points at your flaming hair, and then we're playing hide and seek
I can't breathe easy here, less our trail's gone cold behind us
Till in the john mirror you stare at yourself grown old and weak

Next we have The Dark Third by Pure Reason Revolution and finally The Art Of Navigating By The Stars by Sieges Even. Both progressive masterpieces.

Moths in my head.

Sometimes the only right thing to do is to drive away.

Friday, December 24, 2010


Enough with destruction of the human race. Let's remember a year by something awesome. In 2004 Google released its beta version of Gmail and changed emailing world forever. Go team Google. Keep the spam coming. :)

This is a difficult choice. Three awesome albums. Funnily, all of them in the pop part of the genre world. But I guess the album-of-the-year award goes to: Love Beyond This World by Kwan, a pop/hip hop/rock band from Finland. Maybe I change my mind tomorrow, but this will still be an incredible piece of music.

Talking too loud can deaf you to silence
And where will I find peace of mind or the answers

Then, Anastacia by Anastacia. This is her only album that doesn't suck ass. In fact - it pwns! Pop/rock/soul mix at its finest. Don’t' hope for deep lyrics though. ;)

And finally, Futures by Jimmy Eat World. Alt rock/pop album that is mesmerizing in its melancholy driven feel-good mood. One of a kind. If I change my mind, this is going to be the album of this year. Silver medal for now.

Sharks. They bite.

Under no conditions is my condition unconditional. Wow, that was made of fail.

Thursday, December 23, 2010


In 2003, we were introduced to SARS. Yes, another possible pandemicy crap modern world has bestowed upon us. Well, what doesn't kill us - exterminates us completely? Nice. Go team virus. Will the shit ever end. Well, human race is too stubborn to just shrivel up and die. Fuck you, uhm, everything. Go team inde-fucking-structible human!

Album-of-the-year award goes to: War All The Time by Thursday, a post-hardcore/screamo band from New Jersey, USA. This is probably the best album of the decade.

These ties strangle our necks, hanging in the closet,
found in the cubicle;
without a name, just numbers, on the resume stored in the mainframe, marked for delete.

Honorable mentions are:
Blessing In Disguise by Green Carnation - progressive rock/metal at its finest.
Spirit Of The Forest by Korpiklaani - folk metal designed to drink hard liquor and smash things up.

War. War fucking never changes.

Don't try to communicate. You're bound to fail.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Two to get ready

What should I remember about 2002? Try this for a size:
U.S. scientists at the State University of New York at Stony Brook have created the first synthetic virus. Using directions downloaded from the Internet and chemicals obtained from a mail-order company, they built an apparently identical copy of the poliovirus. When injected into lab mice, the synthetic virus caused paralysis and then death.
The new era begins! I can order via Internet everything needed for biological warfare. Oh, and on the Internet, this is good, there are instructions how to do that. All hail Internet. Album-of-the-year award goes to: About This by Baxter, a Swedish electronica band.

It's taking me time to believe in this
I'm trying so hard to continue this
I'm giving it time so that I can see
But I'm better off here on my own right now

Honorable mentions are:
Songs For The Deaf by Queens Of The Stone Age - the ONLY stoner rock album ever that doesn't suck.
The Neonai by Lake Of Tears - great music happens when doom metal band evolves.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Two uh-oh one!

What I remember about 2001? Anthrax scare. Killing people with letters? Sigh. Every writer's dream. It was the last opportunity for that though. No sane person sends/receives letters nowadays. Just emails. No anthrax there. Music was okay. Not great, but okay. Album-of-the-year award goes to:
Proud Like A God by Guano Apes,
an alt/nu metal band from Göttingen, Germany.
Fuck it, that's as alternative as it goes. Indie scene was still just a bunch of tone-deaf retards. Plus, guano means feces and urine. Go team excrement monkeys!

Open your eyes, open your mind
proud like a god don't pretend to be blind
trapped in yourself, break out instead
beat the machine that works in your head

Honorable (even more mainstreamish) mentions are:
Beyond Good And Evil by The Cult - their ONLY album that wasn't just one or two hits with ten fillers. Very awesome album. The best The Cult album, though no one will ever admit it.
Red Album by Days Of The New - maybe the awesomest acoustic/grunge rock ever. And all that by a guy with autism.
Toxicity by System Of A Down - not sellouts back then yet. One of the best albums of the Ohs designed for doing something in the asskicking spectrum. Like kicking ass.

We have shit falling from the sky. First, snow:

And then rain...

Monday, December 20, 2010

Top ten albums of the Ohs for my future self

Eighties and Nineties are ancient history. And now that the 00's AKA the Ohs are over, let's see what they brought music-wise. I'll just write down the best albums by years, so one day, I'll have a cool insight in what I thought cool music was back then, which is actually right now. Duh. And hopefully, my future self will cease utilizing the word cool. I'll avoid mainstream craptacular music. Future must not know about Beyonce and alike. If you burry the shit deep enough, eventually it's bound to turn to oil. Someday I hope I'll understand what I meant by that. Let's begin.

Year 2000. We'll remember it by the mad-cow-disease scare. Moooo-bwahahaha-mooo-mothafucka-moooo! Also, Mr. God killed Mr. Schulz. No more Snoopy. Luckily, we still have cows. Go team Moo.

Music production was pretty awful. The best-album-of-the-year award goes to:
Music For People by VAST,
an alternative rock band/project from Texas, USA. This is the album you'll be listening to in your vault to forget the Apocalypse/Armageddon/women completely taking over the World. Or play it to a screaming baby. This is the avatar of soothing. Except it's not an avatar. Because it's not blue. If you get this joke - go eat some radioactive snails immediately! Anyway, this is how U2 would sound if they grew huevos.

You left me high and dry - it changed me
You lied to me, now I am angry
And if the sun comes in your room
And awakes you from your vanity
You won't find me cause I'll be
On top of a mountain pissing on your grave

Honorable (mainstreamish) mentions are: Brave New World by Iron Maiden and The Screen Behind The Mirror by Enigma.

First, sounding fantastic live:

Then, something Ohs brought us - AMVs - anime music videos. What can you do?

Sunday, September 19, 2010

I killed a week and I liked it

Sunday. Rainy Sunday. Depressing rainy Sunday. Cheese. Phew, you can always count on cheese to make it all better. One old song for this shitty day. That'll show the gods of awesomeness to disregard my finger-to-sky prayers! Teeeheee!
"Under The Milky Way" by The Church, an Australian neo-psychedelia band (yeah whatever).

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Year of zero heroes

The song is "New Best Friends" by the Swedish progressive metal band Wolverine.

Everyone talks about losing one's faith, yet no one talks about gaining it. So, you grow up, stop believing in The Tooth Fairy, Santa, Jebus, whatever imaginary friend your parents thought you should have to distract you from selling crack in the kindergarten. But where are the new imaginary friends? Nowhere to be found. So you have to settle being a Mr. Spock or a Batman cultist. Laaaaame. No heroes to believe in. So, naturally, people find their sanctuary in addictions. Drugs, soap operas, goat sodomy, you name it. Well, fuck that! When I grow up, I'm gonna be a hero. So, you better be nice to me - there will be a sidekick place opening soon. You know you want it. It comes with a shiny leotard.

Friday, September 17, 2010

No time like payback time

The song is "Writings on the wall" by the Norwegian progressive rock/metal band Green Carnation.

Revenge. It's like saying "Well, you shouldn't have fucked with me, sir. Now you'll see why was fucking with me such a bad idea. You won't fuck with me again, I assure you." But why do it? Isn't revenge a petty, childish act, a result of needing to show someone you are actually worth something? The use of your energy trying to teach someone a lesson, who obviously doesn't deserve to be taught a lesson? Yes, all that. But it's fun. The sole thought process is cathartic. The execution is psychotherapeutic. But most of all - it's pure, primitive fun. It's our way to enforce biblical justice. You messed with me? Prepare to be über-pwned!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Who's that talking over there? Years? Bugger off. I'm awesome now and intend to be later.

The song is "Choreography" by the American art-rock band Cire.

My favorite lyrics quote: "Years don't teach anything if you're not listening". People often use the phrase "that's disrespectful". And have in their minds that you should respect older people a priori, just because they've seen more, they've experienced more, they know more. Well, that's a fucking lie. There are old people that know shit about shit, that are old-fashioned (read conceited, bigoted, and close-minded). You earn respect by being a person, by your acts, achievements, views on life, etc. Respect doesn't mysteriously appear with accumulated years. So if you think you deserve respect, ask your self why. Do you? Really? Listen to the years. They have a thing or two to say.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Never question my authorata!

The song is "Televators" by the American progressive rock band Mars Volta.

Auto-da-fé. In real life, that was pretty much "burning at the stake", practitioned by the Portuguese Inquisition. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, but come on, who the fuck would even consider the Portuguese one? Sneaky bastards. So, effectively, if you were a heretic, which meant you disagreed with having to blindly believe in dogmas, you went burn-motherfucker-burn. A dogma is a belief, which cannot be disputed or doubted. Well, Mr. Religionmaker, that's pretty convenient, right? You say something and we should all just blindly follow it? Well, fuck you. I institute a new dogma - that everything can and should be disputed and doubted. Even that everything should be disputed and doubted should be disputed and doubted. Just not in my presence. That's MY dogma of awesomeness. Don't mess with it. Unless you're fireproof.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Live like lions, lie like pirates

The song is "Tidal" by the german progressive rock/metal band Sieges Even.

Daphnis and Chloe you ask?. Well, they were two kids from the novel so old, it's bound to be true (2nd century AD, by Greek novelist and romancer Longus). You see, people didn't know how to lie in those good-old-times. They didn't have the need. Nowadays, lying is a sport. It's a crucial part of prestige. Well, fuck that, I'm too senile to remember the truth, so how and why the fuck would I want to remember imaginary stories. Fuck lies. Anyway, Daphnis and Chloe fell in love and, this is good, they "didn't understand what is happening to them". Heehee. Well, fuck, things do not change, right? No one understands love anyway today. No progress being made in that sector in the last couple of millennia. OK, but it gets better - some old geezer (they were called "wise" in those respect-the-geriatrics times) tells them that the only cure (for being in love) is kissing. That's why I like old myths and stories - the solution is always simple and awesome. Unfortunately, it seems today nothing is solved anymore by kissing. Lame. Those Greeks knew how to party.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Rather ballles than wallles

This is going to be a progressive week. Because I feel regressive. And aggressive. And it wouldn't be so impressive if I were to continue with what I seem to be doing now, would it? No, it would be quite obsessive. So I'll just stop before it becomes obnoxiously excessive. Which obviously already happened four sentences before.
The song is "Beneath The Waves" by Ayreon, a Dutch composer. Some time ago, we all decided the walls were something bad. Something that separates people. Something that needs to be torn down in the name of almighty freedom. Well, no. Walls are responsible for more splaces (space+place, come on, do I need to explain everything?). If I tore down my inner walls, I'd have one big room. Crapper and kitchen connected. Hail wallles freedom (yes, places without walls are that gauche that they have three "L"s in a row). And if I tore the outside walls, well, my guess is the roof would smite me. Unless, in a wallfree world, there is no gravity. We'd have one big place. But reality is, quantity is better than size. Think about boobs. How'd you like if a woman, you've deviously tricked to display her nakedness to you, showed you just one big boob. One. But look at the size of it! Fail. We need more walls like we need more boobs.

Friday, August 6, 2010

DIY - Don't Infuriate Yoda

Today, the Force rests within the amateurs. Videos recorded, edited, or just thrown together by enthusiasts. There are three ways to make a non-official video: 1) Edit scenes from a movie/series/another video(s), 2) Create a slideshow of images with lyrics inserted, 3) Record and edit your own video. See which one works the best. And don't tell Yoda, but I just middle-fingered him.

"If you want to make a little money, write a book. If you want to make a lot of money, create a religion." - L. Ron Hubbard

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Being alive sure beats being dead

Three live acts. Counting Crows and Jimmy Eat World from USA and Pain Of Salvation from Sweden. Words would just soil the epicness here. No talking.

"The more we do to you, the less you seem to believe we are doing it." - Dr. Joseph Mengele

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Fuck all non-hangover headaches

Parody. Theme. Head. Hurts. Listen. Quiet. Awesome.

"It is not truth that matters, but victory." - Adolf Hitler

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

War, War Never Changes

The theme for this Thursday is war. War? What's so great about war? Isn't... Shut up! Without war, we wouldn't have songs about war. And who would want to hear a warless song about war? No, not even you, you peaceloving wardespiser. The bands are Rise Against and Thursday, both from USA, and The Manic Street Preachers from UK.

"War is to a man what maternity is to a woman. From a philosophical and doctrinal viewpoint, I do not believe in perpetual peace." - Benito Mussolini

Monday, August 2, 2010

The week of the sick

What will be your gift to us this week, oh noble master? Well, puny insect, good question. For an insect. Now shush! This is going to be... yes - awesome! Three songs in whatever theme I see fit for a particular day. Just the best of the best of the best. And hopefully some even better.

So let's start! Monday awesomepalooza is themed... beatbox! Well, almost. Instrumentless songs. Well, almost. The bands are: Van Canto from Germany, Perpetuum Jazzile from Slovenia and Naturally 7 from USA. All covering classic songs. Schweet!

"I was asked to memorise what I did not understand; and, my memory being so good, it refused to be insulted in that manner." - Aleister Crowley

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Rain-resistant rage

Hangovery Randomness Sunday song is "Umbrella" by the German rock and roll band The Baseballs, originally by the Barbadian pop singer Rihanna.

Robyn Rihanna Fenty once said "Don't be afraid to be yourself just because you're not like everybody else in class. If you want to dye your hair green and that's what makes you happy, then dye your hair green – no matter what other people might say about it. Not everybody is going to like you, that's the world we live in, that's reality." OK, I didn't have high expectations that Miss Fenty would ever say anything worthwhile, but there you go. Cliché? Yes. Something that needs to be repeated often? Meh. Something I would believe if someone who looks and sings exactly like everyone else on MTV would say? Nope. You know where you can stick your preaching umbrella. Yep, the sun ain't shinin' there.

OK, that's it for this week. I'm satisfied. If anyone actually accidentally read/listened to this, I would've probably been more careful of the insanity that leaked from my keyboard. Not. Why not, oh, the omnipotent one? Well, it's simple: I Don't. Fucking. Care.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Never run away. But NEVER stop running.

Epopoeic Saturday song is "Silence" by the UK heavy rock band EsOterica, originally by the Canadian electronic/trance band Delerium. I'm also including the original, because the video is just fucking amazing, plus Sarah McLachlan has an amazing voice.

Sarah McLachlan once said "If you love large, you've got to hurt large. If you've got a lot of light, you've probably got an equal amount of darkness." Holding back is what makes people mediocre and the world boring. Fuck safety cushions, fuck reasonable expectations, fuck pre-planned everything. You can't re-load this game. Just one try. Make it worthwhile. Make it memorable. Make it fun. Yes, it will hurt like shit sometimes. Yes, it will shatter your bones sometimes. But playing it safe will just make you a regret-filled empty shell. Don't hold back. Time to do evil is now. Run hurt, run handcuffed, run not-yet-free. But run. Never stop running.

Friday, July 23, 2010

I hope I'm not thirsty today

Long Hair Friday song is "Zombie" by the Gibraltarian alt-metal band Breed 77, originally by the Irish rock band The Cranberries. And also a bonus version of the same song by Dave Stewart, about whom I know nothing about, except that his voice freezes my blood. Sick shit!

Dolores O'Riordan (lead vocal of The Cranberries) once said "Everybody has demons in their closets, but it's from these demons that we learn and become better people." If you'd empty your closet, there'd be nothing left. Wow, that was genius - if something is empty, nothing's there. I have to remember these rare gems from my own closet. No, I'm saying that if you didn't have any demons, who would you fight? You need to have your own windmills to tilt at. War is excusable only in one's mind. Fuck fighting the weak - fight chaos within.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

See you later, Invisble Woman.

Electrocuted Thursday song is "Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Dub" by the English electronic rock band Apollo 440, originally "Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love" by the American hard rock band Van Halen.

Eddie Van Halen once said "It's always a Catch-22 situation. They hate you if you're the same, and they hate you if you're different." Good call, Eddie. Not! That's called a no-win (or lose-lose) situation. You were probably watching Wrestlemania 22. There, there, it's the thought that counts. We will all continue to hate you no matter how different you become. Or the same. We won't judge. Just hate, hate, hate.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Yes, I won't.

Screaming Bitch Wednesday song is "Big In Japan" by the German alternative/nu metal band Guano Apes, originally by German synthpop band Alphaville.

Marian Gold (lead singer from Alphaville) once said "Perhaps you've only grown up when you can bear not being understood." Pretty awesome thought if you're asking me. Which undoubtfully you are. But would you really want someone to fully understand you if it meant they'd go insane just from the sheer mentalness that is you? Probably yes. Would you feel shallow if everyone understood you? Yep also. So where is that fine three-million-miles-wide line of being completely misunderstood and being completely understood? I vote the Earth. Now, there's a place where no one understands anyone, yet they must pretend to understand everyone, or else. Else what? Exactly. Send me five thousand dollars if you understood any of this. Or be considered a retard and condemned to live a life of solitude and ridicule. Your call.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

George of the Junkle

Pass The Tissues Tuesday song is "Careless Whisper" by the South-African band Seether, originally by the pop singer/performer George Michael.

George Michael once said "Even though it's become a really clichéd thing to see musicians working for charity, it's still effective and it still has to be done." Yes, no, and no. It is clichéd and you do it only to show your new designer, glittering pants. It is not effective according to the old Chinese proverb "Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime". And we know by now the Chinese are always right. While, of course, being left. If the basic and the most important human function is to procreate, they are doing pretty much the best job. Why, if I only had a nickel for every Chinese... I'd have more than a billion of nickels. With each of them weighing 5 grams, I would effectively have 6,7 tons of pigeon ammo. That should be enough to de-pigeonize the Earth. Ever eaten squab? Me neither. Yet. Oh, wait, back to George. Actually, no. It's sometimes too dangerous to argue with someone who also said "Of course, I want to sell this record - there's no point making it otherwise." Sell your records Georgie-Porgie and save the world! You da man! Suppaman!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Take cover! It's cover week.

That means songs that kick substantially more ass in their non-original versions. Accompanied by the "wisdom" of the involved. Consider that a warning.

Trumpet Monday song is "We Are The Champions" by the German ska band The Busters, originally by British prog-rock band Queen.

Freddie Mercury once said "I dress to kill, but tastefully". Well, duh! What's a murder without finesse? A messy bloodbath. As if there were non-messy bloodbaths. Bludgeoning someone with a hammer might be excusable if your first name is Thor. Otherwise it's gauche. Shooting someone with a gun? To the gay-asylum with you, Mr. Eastwood! Now, poisoning someone with a slow-acting agent, untraceable even by CSI Albuquerque, while wearing a pretty dress? Shweeet!
THAT'S what Freddy was talking about.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Emo week bleeds away

how can we still get home
I'm not dreaming

Saturday, July 10, 2010

No sleep for the sick

I still believe it’s getting better

Friday, July 9, 2010

Winning is all that matters

despite these imperfections, despite all I say
inside in recollections, I'm done with yesterday

Thursday, July 8, 2010

It should never be too late to try

I remember we would hide behind the trees
Smoking cigarettes until our throats would bleed
Those were the days

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

The statement to the right is a lie. The statement to the left is the truth.

behind these masks we renegade against the sound
we'll let our voices slowly fade and ring out

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

You can't destroy evil. Nice try though. Not.

but just remember that when I touch you
the more you shake, the more you give away
but don't you forget
the more you turn away, the more I want you to stay

Monday, July 5, 2010

Pain? Bring it on! Bring it -cough- ehm, wait just one... Noooo! Crap. Pain.

is this how it feels
when you don't even fit into your own skin
and it's getting tighter, every day i'm getting smaller
if i keep holding my breath i'm going to disappear

Sunday, June 13, 2010

I'll be drunk on your funeral. Don't you worry.

OK, good shit happens and great shit happens. And somewhere between, really fucked-up shit happens. Well, what doesn't kill me only makes me emotionally and physically handicapped. Pass the wheelchair, pass the tissues, pass out. Or just pass. Well, if you don't... that's extra cool. This being the last Hangovery Randomness Sunday ever, it's time to say bye-bye and also thanks. With the help of a song called, waaaaait for it--- "Thank you" by the American heavy metal band Hellyeah. The battle of Armageddon is over. The universe failed. Glad I helped.

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." - Theodor Seuss Geisel

Threesome. I wish. And so do you. Well, bring a friend then.

Four days in one? But how is that possible, master? I will now show you puny insect, while you lick my, yes, that's how I'll call them. My big, leather shoes. It wouldn't have been an armageddonic week if something hadn't gone completely wrong. Like three days completely vanishing. Well, I'mma get them back. Now. Worship me.

ET: the song is "Where It Ends" by the American Electronica band Boy In Static. They'll almost as bad as The Stone Roses. Somehow this song rocks in its evident suckage. It soothes this savage beast.

"The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept." - George Carlin

LHF: the song is "Walls Of Jericho" by the American progressive/alternative metal band Fair To Midland. They are AAAAAwesome. Listen. Appease the monster under the acrylic skies. Live like today will live five minutes.

"I intend to live forever. So far, so good." - Steven Wright

ES: the song is "Bullitts Dominae" by the British progressive rock band Pure Reason Revolution, from their first studio album The Dark Third. Which rhawks! While their second album sux0rz!

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die." - Mel Brooks

See how it's done? Now I will go write the Sunday blogaliciousness. Be bad. Be very bad.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010


Ice cream; therefore I lick. So, this week's theme is what? To cite one of the more prominent poets of our time - Marilyn Manson - arma-goddamn-motherfucking-geddon! The final chapter of awesomeness. The awesome chapter of finalness. Like Luke (if they had names in biblical time, he would have been called Jeebusstalker) said "I have married a wife, and therefore I can not come." Go sit in a clover field and think about that! Also, "therefore" being the word of the day, we should invent a symbol for it. Wait! Math nerds already did? It's "∴". Aaaaw-some!
In that armageddonical spirit, the song for this Screaming Bitch Wednesday is "Beautiful Tragedy" by the American metalcore band In This Moment. Yeah, go make evil now.

"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps." - Emo Philips

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Pass The Tissues Tuesday #4

OMG! Meaning: Oh My Goth! Only in Finland can we find blond emos. Sweet frozen tears of Valhalla! I thought sub-zero temperatures prevent people from being gay?! Obviously not. Anyway, the song is "Fairytale Gone Bad" from these fine Finnish gentlemen, whose pop rock band is named Sunrise Avenue. What? You're not from Japan! Sun rises in Japan. Everyone knows that. That's why Pikachu is yellow. Because the Sun is yellow. It's true! Bing it!

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally." - W. C. Fields

Monday, June 7, 2010

Trumpet Phail

Monday morning, I'm still snoring, from all the whoring, from all the conforming.
It's never boring, to disregard the warnings, just for the sake of ignoring, the goddamn Monday morning.

There, there's no worse way to start the week than with rhyming. Because Monday rhymes with Sunday. And it fucking isn't Sunday. Crap. Crap. Crappola. Crappoly? Meh.

N-E-Wayz, Trumpet crapday has it's song. Wheeee! It's "So Sad To Say" by the American ska band The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. Are they mighty or what. Couldn't tell from the band's name. So yeah, I wanted to go nerdville with them. Google returns 57,400 results for The Mighty Mighty Bosstones and 57,600 for The Mighty Bosstones. What. The. Fuck?!
"I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you." - Robin Williams

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Sunday Morning Comin' Threesome

Thank you, me, it's Hangovery Randomness Sunday once again. Three songs today. Sheer awesomeness.

"If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad." - Lord Byron

Tantric - The One

Apocalyptica - I'm Not Jesus (Feat. Corey Taylor)

Paradise Lost - I Am Nothing

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Bad medicine

Epopoeic Saturday's song is "The Last One Alive" by the American alternative-rock band VAST. Best. Lyrics. Ever. Well, close. :) "You won't find me, 'cause I'll be atop a mountain, pissing on your grave. Na, na, na..." Now, a bit of trivia and quasi-science: Shivambu (literally "Water of Shiva") is an ancient Indian practice/method of drinking urine for rejuvenation. So, if you are to have any chance of resurrecting someone, your best shot is to piss on their grave, even better, in the open casket - his family will surely be pleased. All hail urine zombies!

"Being an author is like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum." - Graycie Harmon

Friday, June 4, 2010

My schlong is long 'cause I put songs on my blog

Long Hair Friday's song is "Little Deaths" by Finnish goth-metal band To/Die/For. Don't I just hate those overpretentious symbol-soiled names? Why, yes I do, thank you for asking. You are listening to Therapy? That wasn't a question. Artist formally known as Prick? Panic! At the Disco! What? Two sentences in one name? Gaytarded. Sunn O))). Oh, dear Satan of Sodoma... So, whadya think of the new album by sun-en-oh-closedbracket-closedbracket-closedbracket? Phail. But wait. Her comes the king. !!!. Yes, those idiots named themselves three-exclamation-marks, pronounced like clicking (the way the Bushmen talk), inspired by the movie The Gods Must Be Crazy. Don't believe me? Google it! Oh, right - you fucking can't!

"You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you." - Ray Bradbury

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Failure to communicate by saying everything

No crap today. Just facts. Just music.

Day: Electrocuted Thursday
Song: I'm Not the One
Artist: I Will Never Be The Same
Genre: synth-rock
Quote: "I try to leave out the parts that people skip." - Elmore Leonard

Wednesday, June 2, 2010


They have been silent for a week. Now, they can scream. After all, it is Screaming Bitch Wednesday. The song is "What You Do To Me" by the American heavy metal band Straight Line Stitch. Which incidentally rhymes with bitch. Now, usually, they are pretty awful, but they accidentally managed to create this awesome song.

"What no wife of a writer can ever understand is that a writer is working when he's staring out of the window." - Burton Rascoe

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Just Pass It To Jordan

Prepare your lacrimal glands - because here comes... Pass The Tissues Tuesday! Emos around the world rejoice... ehm, I mean write a poem with a mix of black ink from your collapsing veins and your even blacker supra-goth tears. There we go!
The song is "Not The One" by the American pop-rock band South Jordan. Now, if there weren't a piano in this one, I'd have to classify it as gay. Oh, wait... nevermind.

"Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia." - E.L. Doctorow

Monday, May 31, 2010

Week #3

Week #3 is called NOT THE ONE. Well, duh, it's three, not one, I mean, really... Being the one and/or not being the one is obviously very subjective. Or not. Ask Frodo or Neo, they're the experts. And only 70% of them is gay. Max. I'm pretty sure I AM the one who is writing this, because both of my hands are keyboard-tied and so I can't scratch my butt, therefore I have passed the test with flying col... uh, I mean supererogatorily. Nice. Also the quotes will be about writing. Because there are no respectable songs about writing (from this century anyway) and there is not enough smart words about not being the one. And I sure as hell ain't gonna be the one to write them. Why?! Well... guess what - I AM NOT THE GODDAMN ONE!

We begin the week with oh-will-you-stop-with-all-that-damn-happiness Trumpet Monday.
The song is "I'm not the one you love" by the American funk band The Scabs. This shows you how pure awesomenes can have less than 1000 views on Youtube, while all the emo crap gets millions. Pa-the-tic-tic-boom!

"Popularity is the one insult I have never suffered." - Oscar Wilde

Sunday, May 30, 2010


Last call! For coffee, you dirty drunk you! Super-extra-mega-giga-tera treat this Hangovery Randomness Sunday! Three, yes, 3 songs! Oh my Jeebus! O-M-J!!!!!!11eleventyone

"I'm going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!" - Sam Levenson

First one is "Tomorrow" by the American hard rock band Sixx:A.M. from the album (awesome, awesome album) The Heroin Diaries Soundtrack.

Then comes "Maybe Tomorrow Is A Better Day" by the Finnish rock band Poets Of The Fall from the album Signs of Life. THE best album recorded in the first decade of 21st century. Period. No discussion. Well, maybe later.

And finally: "Tomorrow I Won't Remember" by the English industrial rock band esOterica.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

No Title for the Wicked

What is more epic than being epic? Well, being epopoeic, of course! And there's nothing more epopoeic than Epopoeic Saturday. Epopoeic, epopoeic, epopoeic!

The song is "Eyes of Tomorrow" by the American ambient rock band Broken Iris. These guys are so underground that they even don't have a Wikipedia page! How gauche! Nevertheless, their debut 2007 album (the only one so far) "The Eyes of Tomorrow" is what Tool would sound like if they grew a few pairs of balls. Aaaw-some! Plus, I've found out that somehow everybody forgot to mention that Tim Burton did an animated film which looks cool-as-hell and (thank-you-jeebus) there ain't no singing involved.

"Today a reader, tomorrow a leader." - Margaret Fuller

Friday, May 28, 2010

Long Hair Friday

Thank you, unemployed hairdressers of the World - it's Long Hair Friday once again!
The song is "Truth of Tomorrow" by the Swedish synth rock/power metal band Machinae Supremacy. Awesome grim-future lyrics. Check it out:

Now I'm waiting to be ceased and turned in to a brand
The chip beneath my skin, ready to be scanned
Am I merely a supply meeting some demand?
Is this a lullaby in someone's masterplan?
Which reminds me of Alice-who-the-fuck-is-alice-I'm-Milla-you-cunt from Resident Evil. Well, she's the hottest zombie exterminator ever. And also sings. What? OK, extra bonus from Milla. Teeheehee!

"Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone." - Pablo Picasso


Thursday, May 27, 2010

E.T. Fili Brute?!

All hail Electrocuted Thursday! Interesting shit today. The song is "There's no tomorrow" by the Dutch dark wave/goth rock (whatever that means) band Clan of Xymox. The awesomely awesome part is that the video is actually shots from the Italian horror film Dellamorte Dellamore. Which is about Dylan Dog, the awesomest comic-book hero everrr! Plus, these Dutch guys sound like Depeche Mode would, if they weren't so dedicated to being boring.

"Good executives never put off until tomorrow what they can get someone else to do today." - John C. Maxwell

Wednesday, May 26, 2010


What is better than hearing a bitch scream? Well, not many things. Including beer-flavored ice-cream.

This week in the almighty Screaming Bitch Wednesday we have a little too mainstreamish song. What can you do? It's "Tomorrow" by the Canadian pop-rock singer... you know who it is... yes, it's Avril Lavigne. Oh, boy. Shut up. This live act is pure awesomeness. I mean, she cries while singing. Respect. Now go record Rollerblade Boy or whatever.

"Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree." - Martin Luther

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

PC's In Da House! PC! PC!

Pass The Tissues Tuesday features a song "Tomorrow I'll Be You" by the American post-hardcore (good thing once upon a time there was hardcore. Otherwise we wouldn't have this beautiful genre. Time breaks in two: BH - before hardcore, and PC - post hardcore. Because hardcore did way cooler stuff than Jeebus.) band Thursday. Not listening to this band's album War All The Time is an gargantuan mistake. Titanical. It's in my top-10-albums-of-all-time list. Pure WIN! Even though they're clearly emo. Good thing I bought ridiculous amount of tissues.

"I have never met a vampire personally, but I don't know what might happen tomorrow." - Bela Lugosi

Monday, May 24, 2010

Holy Crap It's Monday Again!


I'll listen to some awesome songs touching that over-touched theme of the-day-after-today. While I hammer down the last parts of my über-supra-cool time machine in my imaginary basement.

The traditional Trumpet Monday begins with "They Provide the Paint" by the American ska-punk band Streetlight Manifesto. They obviously have a lot to say. Like: "Yada-yada-yada and tomorrow it'll end..." Me like. Awesome and fun and sad lyrics. Plus the obligatory trumpets.

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia." - Charles M. Schulz

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Hangovery Randomness Sunday

Time to wrap up the week. With nothing less than "Hangovery Randomness Sunday". I believe the name speaks for itself. Actually, I'm not hung over. Just hung. Well hung.

The song is "Colorblind" by the American pop-punk/emo (I swear they're just making that shit up on a daily basis) band Say Anything. I move too slow and I think too fast and the first rainbow I see will be the last! Nice! That's it, the first music week ever is over. End of the rainbow. It was awesome.

"After fifteen minutes nobody looks at a rainbow" - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

OK, no, wait! Sunday is free-time day. I'll squeeze in one more awesome song! "Rainbow" by the Italian pop-rock performer Elisa. Sweet! Pop music is also music. Well, almost.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Epopoeic Saturday

Enter "Epopoeic Saturday"! It's more epic than the epicness itself!
And the virgin song is: "Silhouette Paintings" by American hard rock band Kingdom Come. It's so epopoeic it doesn't even come with a video. They couldn't record one that was worth the epopoeicness of this song. It would've been sheer epopoeiclessness.

"Weekends are a bit like rainbows; they look good from a distance but disappear when you get up close to them." - John Shirley

Friday, May 21, 2010

Long Hair Friday

All hail "Long Hair Friday"! Yes, this is the metal day of the week. Unfortunately for the hormonally-crazed, long-haired head-bangers (hyphens rule!), I've chosen a ballad. Up yours? Up your iron? Something like that.

We're listening to "Master Of The Wind" by the American power metal band Manowar. Now, I think they are just too ridiculous to be considered real music, but they did manage to create one (and only one) superb song in their career. And here it is. Live. So we can all enjoy their Pityriasis-simplex-capillitii-free hairs. That's dandruff-free for all you Latinically challanged.
"We live in a rainbow of chaos." - Paul Cezanne

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Electrocuted Thursday

Today is "Electrocuted Thursday". The first of... one? OK, maybe more. Or not. Depends on the number of sodomy threats I receive.

The song is "Rise Up" by Yves LaRock - a Swiss DJ. Pure awesomeness. It presents fucking jump rope as something supra-cool and not a game for little girls. You can NOT be smiling when they bounce on their asses. Fun. Awesome. Watch it.

"Life's not always fair. Sometimes you can get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow." - Terri Guillemets

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Day 3

OK, girls are allowed one day of the week. But no more. So, behold... wait for it ..."Screaming Bitch Wednesday"! Hmmm, I wonder what could that be?!

Today's song is "Nazi Halo" by the American punk rock (read "riot grrrl") band Jack Off Jill. She seems angry. And swears a lot. Which makes this a bazillion times better than Beyonce's "Halo". Which is... (checks Wikipedia ) ...yes, a song with the most retarded lyrics ever written. Hmm, always thought that was "El Condor Pasa" by Simon And Garfunkel. I mean, come on! "I'd rather be a sparrow than a snail?" Snails are homeowners, plus they are hermaphrodites. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Then, more crap: "I'd rather be a hammer than a nail." Wrong. I like getting hammered, not being one. And if being a nail means I'll be doing more nailing - well, sign me up. Nails are awesome. I mean, let's say you were thinking of killing a deity. Let's call this random deity "Geebus". What tools and/or devices would you use? A hammer? Wrong! Only nails work on deities. Just like wooden stakes (notice the similarity to the nails) work on vampires. (-cough-) Right, so listen to this shit, not Paul "Dr. Do-little" Simon. Damn snailhater.

"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." - Dolly Parton

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Pass The Tissues Tuesday

Now, let me introduce to you... (-drum roll-) ..."Pass The Tissues Tuesday"! Yes! Emoism is da main shit now! Smiling and feeling good is for losers! Like me, who can't finish the sentence without the exclamation mark! (-sob-)

Today's song is "Chasing Rainbows" by the English alternative rock (read "Brit Emo") band Shed Seven. So, yeah, today is OK to cry, even if you're not a little girl. Which is so painfully obvious that you are.

"The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears." - John Vance Cheney

Monday, May 17, 2010

Reclaiming the Rainbow

This week (which is also the first ever week of music awesomeness) is titled "Reclaiming the Rainbow". Yes, we've allowed you to prance around with it for a while, but the time has come to give the colory shit back. Not that we need it, it's just that it belongs to us. Plus, we might need it. And it actually isn't magic. Just broken light. Why, yes, you can break the light. Just like I can break your... well, let's not go there yet. Go get a hammer and start hitting the light. See what happens... See? Told you so. So yeah, this week's theme is random rainbowy shit.

The week begins with "Trumpet Monday", which features a song "Rainbow" by the Japanese ska-punk band Kemuri. Now get the fuck out of here and have a fantastic week! Listen to the song first! (-sigh-)

"One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the forces that made it" - Mark Twain

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The Importance of Being Seagull Or The Old Man and the Seagull

BBC reported a story with the following title: Attacker throws animal semen over girls in Bury (link:

What was unsurprising, yet eerily unsettling, was the quote of Detective Inspector Lynne Vernon of the Greater Manchester Police: "None of the victims was physically harmed in anyway but this is still a disgusting act". Now, setting aside the obvious police-grammar errors (...none of the victims were... and any way...), the badge-wearing genius has also insulted the distinguished society of the Gull. VICTIMS? Helloooo?!

Online dictionaries claim:
Victim - one who is harmed or killed by another.
Yet he says they weren't harmed in any way. In ANY way. So they can't be considered victims.

I vote the sentence "None of the victims was physically harmed in anyway" the wrongest, obtusest, ridiculousest sentence ever, from now known as the WORSE. As in - people started the weekly tradition of seagulling Mr. Vernon's family to settle the score for the WORSE.

The gadgetless inspector continues with: "...but this is still a disgusting act and the person responsible must be caught." Right. And then you, the semen-smearing ethics expert, will quote Immanuel Kant to him, until he admits the vileness of his ways.

Fly low and aim high, brothers Gulls. And don't believe the newspapers. They are written by the illiterate, lazy, lesbigay scallywags, better known as the ILLS. And you don't go wounding what you can't kill. So they ill what they can't wound. The lamapalooza ends now. :p